Maruchan Instant Lunch Can Cure Anything That Ails You, I Swear

Anytime anyone is sick or hung over or generally just feeling like ass, I always tell them the same thing. They should immediately get a liter or two of water, a handful of vitamin C, and a chicken flavored ramen soup cup. It will literally cure anything that ails you, at least conditions within reason.

The water will take away dehydration as a factor. Dehydration can cause lethargy, dry mouth, decreased urine output, thirst, muscle weakness, dizziness, and headaches. All of these symptoms can make whatever else is wrong with you feel about a million times worse. If your stomach can handle it, push the water. If your stomach cannot handle it, have fluids like ginger ale or Pedialyte which will be easier on your stomach but still hydrate you adequately. I know that Pedialyte is for kids, but I don't care, it comes in sippy bottles. You could put diesel fuel in a sippy bottle and there is a good chance I would give it a swig. But I digress...

Vitamin C is thought by many to be a cure all of sorts. It is a water soluble vitamin which means that you cannot technically overdose yourself on it. Various studies have shown that taking small doses of the vitamin throughout the day is the key to increased absorption rather than taking one megadose. For example, take four to five 250 mg doses of vitamin C at different times rather than one large 1000 mg dose in the morning. And as always, there are a large number of foods loaded with vitamin C, but if you are feeling like crap, odds are your appetite is really not that good. More later on vitamin C….

And now, the holy grail to my hangover, the chicken ramen soup cup. Sadly, I am a purist and will only consume the finest of all of the ramen soup cups, the Maruchan Instant Lunch brand. Don’t be bringing me any of those silly other brands. You fetch me that nasty Nissan on my deathbed and it’s not getting eaten. Sadly, the cure granted from this “food” I love is only anecdotal. While the sodium content is off the charts for what I would tell humans to consume in a day let alone a meal…in theory when you’re sick it helps you hold fluid, can be tasty on your dulled taste buds, and soothes the stomach. It is high in saturated fat and carbohydrates, but you can always argue the carbohydrates help replete your energy. Frankly, it is warm and tastes good and makes me feel less crappy.

So, that’s my key to not feeling as crappy as you were an hour before you sent someone to the store to fetch you this stuff. That and sleep…lots of glorious sleep.

*This post is dedicated to my lovely NY "wife" (above) who is feeling like ass today. If she hadn't eaten the last of my tasty tasty Maruchan Instant Lunch cups on Saturday night in a fit of drunkenness, I would totally fetch her one. ~ beth